我·是谁？Who·Am I?

前言 Preface:

今天的文章
略有情绪影响
而产生的内容
若无法接纳我此刻心情的读者
今天很抱歉
可能会让你失望
因为
今天是宣泄自己的内心世界
The content of the article today
is slightly emotional
For the readers who is unable to accept
I'm sorry that I had made you disappointed
because
it's about inside out of my world

开学后
日子依旧的忙碌
没休息过
（就算有，只有短短的午觉为短休）
“我很累”这三个字
无形中
已经是我的口头禅
After class starts
my life is back to never-ending busy life
there is no rest in the middle of these business
(if yes, it's just a short nap)
"I'm tired"
Had turn into my quote of the semester indirectly

近日
在脸书上
在instagram上
似乎都是崩溃状态更新
特别是今天
我完全是崩溃
在班上大喊
在厕所里哭
用午餐宣泄
路上危险驾驶
回家大声抱怨
Lately in Facebook and Instagram
I had posted quite a number of "negative" status or post
especially today
I had ‘explode’ my emotion aggressively
Shouted in class
Cried in washroom
Large intake during lunch
Drive dangerously on the road
Mumble at home loudly

课业压力大
对学生来说
是正常的
但是
对于突发状况
特别是课业的
我不仅措手不及
更是会强逼自己
用最短最最快速并最有效率的完成并了解内容
这就是我的读书方式
因为我知道
我自己的时间不如其他的室友的时间多
我不能太浪费自己有的时间
Study stress?
As student
it's normal
but
those sudden changes done
especially on studies
not only made myself miserable always
I will also force myself to complete and understand the content
in shortest, fastest and effective ways
This is how I study
because I know I have slightly lesser time than others do
and I know I must not waste my time that I only have

面对课业压力
是一回事
自己身上围绕的私人事
当然
我会写在脸上
但我不说
也说不出
一摞摞的累积
内心越塞越满
当然
越来越沉默不语
越来越会伪装自己
It's just apart of matter that I'm facing for now
Some personal incidents happened also disturbing my emotions
I always show on my face often
Yet
I will not tell
and turn into dumb
Accumulate it day by day
Storage getting limited
and of course
I turn into silence
and wear a mask of the second me

随着日子的流逝
真正的自己也伴着时间溜走
我
是谁？
我真的忘了
我为了忙碌过活
我为了看不见的未来瞎走人生路
我似乎
放弃了自己
换成为别人而活的感觉
The real me leave as the time flies
Who Am I?
I don't know who is this person
Live for busyness
Live for the unpredictable future
I had give up myself fully
It's seems like my presence is for others

这样的问题
还会持续多久？
我真的不知道
真的很累
真的没有继续努力动力
真的失去了自己
How long will it stays?
I don't know
It's really tiring
It's totally demotivated
It's a total lost of myself

什么时候
才会找回我？
我
什么时候会回来？
我真的不能一直失去我
When I will seek Me?
When Me will be back?
I can't lost Me for any longer term

我
什么时候能恢复？
When Me will be recover?